Hey guys, Andy here. I was recently struck by someone’s lack of emotional intelligence which was a Eureka moment of how important it is when it comes to portrait photography. While treating someone like an item on an assembly line, asking them to stand there, turn their heads, and smile is an option; doing so does not help make friends or positively influence people. Manufacture tells us that an assembly line is time and cost efficient, however if you are looking to invest in having your portrait taken I suggest there needs to be more than a certain amount of emotional intelligence required to ensure the session goes smoothly; people are people and not inanimate objects. 

A portrait session is not a daily occurrence, it may not be a yearly one; so even for those who undertake them, it is usually not a frequently occurance. So for most people having their portrait taken there is a level of unknown. Even with potential clients, with whom I communicate and explain the process, it is one thing being told what will happen, it is quite another having the experience of what will happen. As such there is an amount of hand holding required as a photographer to manage expectations and to respectfully answer questions and reactions. This helps put clients at ease which is vital to establishing a productive relationship. It is worth noting that I often find people have an understanding of what they want but lack the vocabulary to articulate or express themselves. 

I recall talking to a shirtmaker at Turnbull & Asser, a gentleman’s bespoke shirtmaker established in 1885; a repeat client was visiting to purchase some more shirts. While checking the gentleman’s measurements, to confirm the size and measurements for the new order, the shirtmaker noticed a marked reduction in the gentleman’s chest size which he could only conclude was the result of a serious illness. How to acknowledge the change in size and thus assure the client the new order would fit and take this into account, yet do so without making him feel uncomfortable? “I am glad to see you are well, sir.”

I am not as polished and diplomatic as the shirtmaker however I like to think that I have the emotional intelligence to deal with such a situation were I to be greeted with it. Indeed I am usually more direct (for direct read blunt) and will often challenge people, not with the intention to be disrespectful but rather to be open and honest in regards to a situation with the aim to find a solution. Allied to this is a recognition of verbal and non verbal cues which help me manage and direct my portrait sessions. Sometimes this works wonders and creates long lasting friendships. Sometimes it does not which helps me immediately assess that I am not the photographer for the job.

I had a varied upbringing; I was born aboard with my parents living in Hong Kong, China, Japan and Saudi Arabia by the time I was a teenager. As mixed race I was encouraged to to be open to all cultures, made all the easier by an aptitude for languages. I mention this not to boast but rather that I have a wide range of experiences which I harness to find common ground with people and which grants me empathy. 

My recent experience involving of a lack of emotional intelligence led to the feeling I was a speed bump on the way to someone else’s goals with no consideration as to my feelings, motivations or aims. As such my hackles were raised and there was less than zero reason for me to want to cooperate; yet the steam roller kept on rolling. It was actually quite a moment watching the person double down on their behaviour, totally oblivious to the damage dealt as their sole focus was themselves. As someone who prides themselves on being able to build relationships it was both interesting and shocking seeing someone being utterly selfish.

Emotional intelligence is not about me, it is about other people. It is about relationship building, better communication and decoding emotions. It is about people understanding people and what makes them tick. There is no way I could be a portrait photographer without it.